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To Buy or Not To Buy.

A girl wearing a starry skirt, purple leather jacket and an orange cap.
My first everup cycled piece of clothing. Thanks to Fabrications Hackney and their awesome classes and encouragement.

The most sustainable thing to do is to shop from your wardrobe. I know it, I get it, I don't always do it. Recently I wanted to get a mini dress that I can dress up or down depending on the occasion. I like it because most of my dresses are either too grand or too going out and I am trying to venture out into more wearable staples. I have found one on Realisation Par and fell in love with it. I decided to see if I can find it online in the second-hand market. Straight away (quite surprisingly) I found different options. I even had a choice between white, tiger print and yellow. I had my eyes on yellow because I love that colour. It can be styled day-to-night and I love bright colours. Venturing out into sustainable fashion makes me question my purchases and how long they will be worn for as well as how often. So I started doubting my choices. Surely, it's better to get the dress in white or black because these are 'standard' colours so they won't annoy me in 5-10 years. But then I am not a black or white kind of girl. The white one will be ruined within 5 seconds of putting it on, black is cool but is it me? I think I wear my black dresses the least. Tiger print is dangerous because I cannot return a second-hand purchase. What if I accidentally look like a cheap version of myself. Back to yellow, really? What am I a child? Shouldn't I go for a more mature colourway? In the end, I decided to stick with yellow that I found on Vestiaire. But I decided to message support on the official website selling the dress to check the sizing. According to their measurements, I fit into their size S, but the dress is non-stretch silk; therefore, there's no give with it. I was advised to go for size M. And guess what, there are no size M dresses in the second-hand market (is everyone that skinny?!). So here is another question. Should I get a new dress in a colourway that I like and in my size? Yes, it will be new, but it will be exactly what I want and fit in with my current state of mind. Should I go for any colourway available in the second-hand market because it is second-hand and therefore is more sustainable. Am I spoilt by choice and if I had never seen all the colourways I would not have been so picky? Should I wait and hope that the dress in the colourway and size will magically appear on eBay? Or should I just stop bloody shopping? Stop thinking about it and get my hands on one of these books I bought and never read. The dilemma is real. I love fashion, I love shopping, I love dressing up. Of course, there is always a question whether I am simply filling up the void by looking at dresses online. Am I a slave to capitalism desiring another dress when my wardrobe cannot handle my volumes anymore and my bedroom is full of items that need to be sold and I never find time to do so. I rarely get rid of clothes. It's a long process of thinking and deciding how to do that sustainably, which usually means reselling online, as I believe this is one of the most sustainable ways of getting rid of clothes. I am not going to buy the dress right now if ever. I just thought to share my dilemmas. Someone might think I am crazy, someone might see themselves in it. I think to be 100% sustainable, I need to disappear from the face of the earth. So my thoughts on how I can be more sustainable have not solidified yet, it's a trial and error, where do I step away from my habits and where do I adapt. I know some people are far beyond me in their journeys, but everyone has a different one.

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